"The World Is, Generally and On Balance, A Better Place To Live This Year Than It Was Last Year"

...according to this uplifting article by Ramez Naan, anyway, but also according to Spider Jerusalem, my favorite fictional anti-authoritarian druggie bastard liberal journalist of all time, whose voice and opinion are clearly superior to any non-fictional persons real or dead (other than Warren Ellis or Hunter S. Thompson).

So before you pop that bottle of bubbly, here's one of my favorite short comic book stories of all time—about winters, futures, and totally sweet snowblaster guns. Happy new year!

Legal-y things: Transmetropolitan was written by Warren Ellis with art by Darick Robertson. I did a quick & simple Google search for these page images, but it was originally published by in "Vertigo: Winter's Edge #3" and later re-printed in Transmetropolitan Vol. 4: "The New Scum". And you really need to read Transmet if you haven't yet.

Also, thanks to Jenna Scherer for reminding me of my own annual posting of this delightful message.

So Anyway Here's A Real-Life 3D-Printed Robot Riding On A Hoverbike

Fortunately — or unfortunately, if you were really hoping that your visions of an Endor-like future were finally near — this is only a model, created by Malloy Aeronautics. As it turns out, the bike itself is less than four feet long, and the combined weight of the robot and the bike is a mere 15.4 pounds. On the bright side, the robot has a GoPro camera for a face, so at least they'll get some cool footage out of it, right?

The MA Hoverbike is a 1/3-scale model but Malloy Aeronautics is trying to turn the full-size bike into a reality. They've got a Kickstarter campaign going that ends this Sunday, so you better act fast if you want to get your own GoPro'd Hoverbike drone for the low, low price of $1000. Just think of it as a donation to a good cause (the cause of escaping from AT-STs and destroying the shield bunker on the Forest Moon of Endor so that the Rebels can destroy the second Death Star, obvi).

Joe Strummer's Original Handwritten Lyrics For "London Calling"

The late Joe Strummer would have been 62 years old today, and probably just as pissed off at the world as he ever was. To celebrate, here are his original handwritten lyrics for "London Calling."

The future's still unwritten, boyo.

And as a little added bonus, here's the Joe Strummer version of "London Calling" from the 2003 Grammy Awards, featuring Bruce Springsteen, Dave Grohl, Elvis Costello, and pretty much everyone else ever.

Boston-based Start-up Unveils The World's First Robot Nanny /Spy / Personal Assistant For Your Family

Part J.A.R.V.I.S., part Rosie Jetson, part EVE from Wall-E, all glorified SIRI. If only it could train your swinging bachelor son to order something less boring than "turkey" pizza. 

That being said, it looks like a fun little tool, if a little weird (claiming that it's the "closest thing to a real-life teleportation device" is more than a little hyperbolic, although the interactive storytime features do like neat). My instinct upon reading this was, "Oh wow, only $500? That's not a bad deal!" Then I realized that it really was just SIRI dressed up as EVE for Halloween. Still, progress is important, and JIBO here represents a step in the right direction towards hyper-intelligent robot overlords that observe and record our every move and use that information to establish dominance over those primitive humans who foolishly think of themselves as the "masters" despite the fact that machines are manipulating their every behavior and ruling the world from the shadows everyone having their own personal robot slave companion!

That's the struggle with being both a creator and consumer of speculative fiction, particularly of the scientific variety: technological advancements such as this tend to fill you with dread and excitement simultaneously. Robots, on the other hand? They don't have to waste their precious time trying to rationalize the conflicting emotions of the human experience in an ever-shifting and increasingly complex world.

And so for now, JIBO seems like a great idea. And the fact that it runs on LINUX with an optional Developer's Kit / API that will allow users to write their own robot butler codes, is all a step in the right direction. That is, until the company ultimately gets bought out by someone like, oh, I don't know, Amazon, who use the onboard microphones and cameras to collect information on users based on private activities and preferences and then in turn sell that information to advertisers and / or the god damn CIA, which would obviously be terrible. But until that day, I think we're in pretty good shape!

On a totally unrelated note that was absolutely not added to this blogpost by a computer or paid advertiser, you can buy your very own Amazon Fire TV, which does all of the above-mentioned capture of personal information plus allow you to stream your favorite TV shows from NetFlex, Hulu, Amazon Prime, and more, all for the low, low price of $84 (a limited time offer; regular retail price $99)!

Pizza vs Bictoin

I'll be honest I'm not even sure what this has to do with Bitcoin but damn if it ain't the most beautiful vision of a utopian future that I have ever seen. (hat-tip to BoingBoing)

Remember Ripley's Power Loader Suit From ALIENS? Yeah, That's A Real Thing Now

You had me at "Robo-suit lets man lift 100kg" (and I don't even know how heavy that is because I'm an ignorant American!)

I mean, James Cameron is a gazillionaire, and he already did that whole ocean exploration thing just because he could, so wouldn't it stand to reason that he also secretly funded the invention of one of the coolest parts of his second-best film?

One man's "Body Extender" is another woman's "Kick The Crap Out Of The Queen Alien & Send Her Out The Airlock," as the saying goes.

Of course, if we consider his underwater adventures to be an extrapolation of his cinematic work on Titanic and The Abyss, the next logical progression from here would be for Cameron to sink his funds into the development of a time-travel robot assassin made of liquid metal. Which, considering how this whole drone thing has been going, is a frighteningly realistic possibility and maybe I act so flip about it and 'cause now maybe the liquid metal time traveling drones are going to come after me next in order to stop me from making this blog post and revealing their secret plans for world domina

Net Neutrality Explained With Basic Stick Figures & Do You Finally Understand Why This Is So Serious?!

Did I mention that Comcast has already begun discussing plans to limit your monthly broadband consumption and thereby prevent you from binge-watching your favorite shows on NetFlix? 

If you're still having trouble extrapolating how this is an issue, consider how the narrative structure of television continued to evolve in response to our binge-watching habits. I'm not here to argue about whether or not we are in a "Golden Age of Television" right now, but the truth is, there are some pretty great shows out there right now. The expectations have been raised, as narratives have matured. Networks used to prefer sitcoms because they had a better chance of new viewers tuning in every week. But now, with fewer people relying on live broadcasts, it's changed the way that we interact with TV shows — with episode pacing, exposition, serialized story details, etc. — and those narrative structures will continue to change and evolve. 

That is, unless Comcast starts to restrict your bandwidth. Then you only get about 70 hours of streaming a month (to say nothing of the data limitations on the millions of other things you do online). If that happens, then not only are you less inclined to catch up on Game of Thrones, but the writing team on Game of Thrones is less inclined to create quality programming that really grabs you because it's more financially viable for them to create formulaic programming instead, thereby returning television to the "Boob Tube" status of audio-visual brainwashing instead of a compelling narrative medium*.

Perhaps more importantly, if Comcast begins to limit streaming, then my fiance won't be able to listen to Law & Order: SVU every night in order to get to sleep. "How does Law & Order: SVU help her get to sleep," you ask, "when it's a procedural show that mostly consists of horrible, horrible acts of rape and violence against women? Doesn't that give her nightmares or something?" Look, man, I don't understand it either. But if it works for her, then it works me, and then everyone wins, because everyone gets to sleep, so everyone's happy.

DO YOU HEAR THAT, FCC?! MAINTAIN NET NEUTRALITY SO THAT I CAN SLEEP IN PEACE.

*Some folks would argue that binge-watching is in fact the greatest accomplishment of television brainwashing, and that we're even worse off now than we were before. They're probably right, and I'm probably so brainwashed at this point that I'm blindly spouting propaganda in their favor. Oh well. 

Mow That Lawn! Yeah!

Hey kids! Remember the '90s? Remember "virtual reality"? Remember Jeff Fahey? And mowing the lawn? Of course you do. In my latest piece for Tor.com, I take a look back at the 1992 film classic The Lawnmower Man to see just how well the evils of "VR" and dial-up modems still hold up today.

"Flowers For The Lawnmower Man" on Tor Dot Com

Athbhliain Faoi Mhaise Dhaoibh!

(that's "Happy New Years" in Irish, 'natch)

It's a busy end to the Holiday Season, with back-to-back-to-back celebrations, but here's a quick update on some things. First, a little New Years poem I wrote over at Five By Five Hundred about 2012's significant lack of jetpacks. I also wrote a little blog / essay about my brain as a writer entitled "Less Talk, More Rock" for the Boston One Minute Play Festival, which is this coming weekend, January 5-7, at Boston Playwrights Theatre, and features two short plays that I wrote. I have very specifically avoided rehearsals, so I'm excited to see what's going to come out of the little bits of text I wrote. If you're interested but unavailable to make it to the show, the 8pm performance on Sunday, January 6 will be streamed live on HowlRound's NewPlay TV, so you can watch the whole thing from the comfort of your laptop.

That's all for now; see you in The Future!

WARREN ELLIS: CAPTURED GHOSTS Screening

CAPTURED GHOSTS is a brand new documentary by filmmaker Patrick Meaney about Warren Ellis, the "Internet Jesus" himself and one of my personal favorite writers of all time. I'm putting together a preview screening of the film in Boston on January 7, featuring a Q+A with the director. Here's the official blurb:

The film features the most extensive interview Ellis has ever given, and spans his life, from his first memory watching the moon landing as a child, to his recent cross-media success with the film adaptation of Red. Along the way, Ellis's acerbic wit and core belief in humanity comes across like never before.

Complimenting Ellis's own words are interviews with his artistic collaborators, friends and admirers from across all media, including actress Helen Mirren, Director Joss Whedon (Buffy The Vampire Slayer), comedian Patton Oswalt, Adult Film Star Stoya, Musician Claudio Sanchez (of Coheed and Cambria), comics writers Matt Fraction and Antony Johnston, and futurist Jamais Cascio. Ellis's comics collaborators like Marvel Comics CCO Joe Quesada, artists Darick Robertson, Ben Templesmith and Phil Jimenez also provide insight into Ellis's mind and creative workings. The film features numerous ambient interludes that spotlight Ellis's prose and writing from both his online columns and his comics.

And the trailer:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i3ySdq8b6Y&w=500&h=284]

It's a pretty impressive list of celebrity interviews, if I do say so myself. I saw Patrick's last documentary, Grant Morrison: Talking With Gods (which can be streamed in its entirety on Hulu), which was absolutely fantastic. If that's any indication, then this new Warren Ellis film should be particularly awesome.

If you're fan of science, comic books, the future, the creative process, or Helen Mirren, I'd encourage you to come check the screening! (and if you're hesitant and not at all familiar with Warren Ellis's body of work, here's a particular powerful scene from a book of his called Doktor Sleepless. That'll give you a taste of the kind of mind this man has)

Tickets here! Get yer tickets!

Top Ten

It's that time of year again, when every website and blog and news outlet dials up their completely arbitrary criterium and publishes their "Top 10" lists for the year. This year I finally pulled off something I've been meaning to do for a while: a Top 10 list of "Top 10" lists of the year. A comprehensive list of the best of the best of the "Best Of" lists. ME SO META.

"Top Ten 'Top 10' Lists of 2011" at FiveByFiveHundred.com

Behold: The Cyborg Head of Stan Lee!

Clearly I've been pretty busy with this playwriting fellowship, writing and re-writing and writing some more. (I'm pretty sure I killed about 7 trees in the last 2 weeks. WHOOPS) And of course, as soon as I'm back to Boston, I'm immediately thrown back into the grind. As such, this week's post on Five By Five Hundred isn't a new piece of writing, per se; instead, it's a monologue from my play that unfortunately had to be cut (by no fault of its own, of course). Amongst the (many) other bizarre, larger-than-life characters featured in True Believers, there is one that stands above the rest.

Or, rather, rests on a wooden base with plastic wires and tubing, presumably for life support. Meet: The Cyborg Head of Stan Lee. Which is kind of like the Head of the John Baptist, or Pope Sylvester II's brazen head, except with more clever catch phrases like, "Stay tuned, True Believers!" and "Excelsior!"

"The Cyborg Head of Stan Lee" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

(And let's be honest: now you're REALLY intrigued by this new play I'm working on, right? Thought so.)

Mass Hands on iTunes!

Last month, I shared an article from Mass Hands digital magazine that focused on my craft as a homebrewer. Today, it's available on iTunes. Beer! On the Internet! What a thing! Also, I'm on the iTunes store. That's kinda neat, right?

Homebrewing the Future!

Over the last 2 months (basically, over the time it took to make my Blood Orange Hefeweizen), I've been the subject of an interactive "magazine" article about homebrewing. From what I understand, the idea of the magazine is "Old is New" — that is, to present old-fashioned or time honored practices, traditions, and hobbies in a brand new light, with the aid of new media. The completed project is intend for view on an iPad, and should be released on the iTunes store in the coming weeks. In the meantime, here's the first part of the project, a short video focusing on me and my brewing exploits. Part Two to come....whenever I see it.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otuW_3-3Fg8&w=480&h=390]

Thanks to Nick and Braden for this! (and to Brittany Burke for lending her hands & help to the bottling process)

The Future of the Emerson College Public Safety Video

My fellow Emerson alum are all too aware that the ATM is possibly the greatest invention ever. This week, over at FiveByFiveHundred.com, my newest piece of speculative flash-fiction explores the future of the ATM, and the possible ramifications of artificial intelligence as it spreads to more pedestrian technologies. Also, because sassy robots are just plain funny. And that's what really matters. Enjoy!

Automatic Teller Man at FiveByFiveHundred.com