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Thom Dunn is a Boston-based writer, musician, and utterly terrible dancer. He is the singer/guitarist for the indie rock/power-pop the Roland High Life, as well as a staff writer for the New York Times’ Wirecutter and a regular contributor at BoingBoing.net. Thom enjoys Oxford commas, metaphysics, and romantic clichés (especially when they involve whiskey), and he firmly believes that Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" is the single greatest atrocity committed against mankind. He is a graduate of Clarion Writer's Workshop at UCSD ('13) & Emerson College ('08).

Portrait of a Struggling Artist as a 38-year-old man on the eve of destruction →

Greetings from the B-Side Brewery! Have you drank enough water today? Gotten out of the house? Walked down to the polls? Taken five deep breaths? Smashed your phone against the wall? Okay cool just making sure.

If you still need a distraction from *gestures broadly at the world*, I invite you to check out the latest episode of the Struggling Artist Podcast, featuring yours truly! Host Trev Allen invited me onto the show to ostensibly talk about the history of the Roland High Life, and also how the hell to exist in the world as a creative person. Inevitably, our conversation also spirals out into a talk about ADHD and why Hawkeye is the best Avenger, as these things are wont to do. I like to think our chat has some nice glimmers of hope as well, as we talk pretty earnestly about how to balance artistry and all the various demands of “real life.”

If that’s not enough of a distraction, the fact that the New York Times Tech Guild is currently on strike could also help stop you from constantly refreshing your browser. The Wirecutter Union, of which I am a part, is technically separate from the Tech Guild, but we do stand in solidarity with our colleagues’ goals. While I can’t tell you what to do about or how to respond to this strike, I can encourage you to check out Strikle instead, or maybe soothe yourself with the dulcet tones of Billy Bragg. Or check out some unionized Chippendale dancers, idk.

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Time To Punch The Waves Back Into The Ocean →

Every year, as the temperature drops and schools start up again, my mind always returns to the same thing: "What We Did On Our Summer Vacation," my favorite episode of The Adventures of Pete & Pete. Most people who’ve met me would not be surprised to learn that I have an earnest and genuine fascination with that particular Nickelodeon kids show, and have for a long time (Buy me a beer some time and I’ll tell you about how I almost went on a blind date with the actress who played Ellen Hinkle). And “What We Did On Our Summer Vacation” is a perfect distillation of everything the show had to offer: quirky characters, the whimsical magic of suburban boredom, and of course, weird deep-cut celebrity cameos that go way over kids' heads (yes, that is Michael Stipe from REM).

First, there’s that unforgettable episode opener: the moment when Younger Pete and his personal superhero, Artie, the Strongest Man In The World, attempt to punch back the ocean waves to prolong the summer. It’s obviously futile battle for them. But that futility also feels like such a succinct metaphor for growing up. (Perhaps even moreso now that we’re living in a time when we’re all so acutely aware of rising sea levels.)

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Some People Just Want To Watch Twitter Burn

Dia daoibh, a chairde, and greetings from the B-Side Brewery! I was on a bunch of tight deadlines this week, so it’s all been kind of a blur. I’m normally a compulsive inbox (and/or notifications) zero-er, but there were more than a few times this week that I emerged from my hyperfocused writing trance to find a dozen or more little red dots on my phone. I ultimately zeroed them all out … though whether or not I actually acted on or replied to all of them, I’m still not sure.

But hey, at least I didn’t lose $80B in stock valuation (that I only earned in the first place by extorting people who need certain life-saving drugs) all because of a stupid Elon Musk Twitter scheme!

So yeah. That kinda week. To make up for it, I’m giving y’all a free short story to read at the bottom of this newsletter. You’re welcome!

What I’m Reading

What I’m Watching

What I’m Writing

What I’m Listening To

What I’m Doing

Colder Bodies, Colder Hearts: A Short Story

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Exploring the lurid life of Armie Hammer on BADLANDS

My script for the Season 5 premiere of the Badlands podcast could not be more opposite from the script I wrote for the Season 4 finale. Okay well maybe that’s not entirely true — they both involved a lot of sensitivity and careful wording. In the case of Robin Williams, that was because of the tragedy surrounding his suicide. In the case of Armie Hammer, that was, uhhh, because of ongoing legal matters and some really dark sexual fetishes that I don’t want to kink-shame but also went to some pretty disturbing places.

So, ya know. Tread lightly and all. But in very, very different ways.

Here’s the synopsis for the Badlands Season 5 premiere, written by me, titled “Armie Hammer: Dirty Texts, Bloodthirsty Fetishes, and a Cannibal Kink”

With his chiseled jawline and matinee idol good looks, Armie Hammer could have been another leading man like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt. But Armie Hammer was not most movie stars. He wasn't even most people. On the surface, his life was perfectly curated and appeared picture-perfect, with no major public scandals or dirt-digging by the press. But his increasingly bizarre appearances in interviews and on social media, not to mention leaked videos and texts, led to shocking revelations about what was really going on behind closed doors. And what was going on was more wild than the untamed dreams of a Hollywood screenwriter.

You can listen to the episode below, or wherever you get your podcasts:

My new BADLANDS podcast about Robins Williams is now out everywhere!

I’ve been doing some freelance writing work lately for Double Elvis Productions, the company behind the popular true crime music podcast Disgraceland (which also just aired its 100th episode). The first of my scripts to go live is the ✨season finale✨ to the latest season of Badlands: Hollywoodland, which goes deep on the dark side of Robin Williams’ life, leading up to this tragically complicated death.

I’m really, really effing proud of the work I did on this one. It’s obviously a sensitive subject, and one that really affected me personally on a lot of levels, and I think I did a damn good job of handling it with care, without losing the delight and humanity of the story. Also, it was just a cool experience scripting within an established episode format, with a pre-existing structure and stuff.

You can check out the episode below, or on whatever podcast platform you prefer:

…Also did I mention that, right after my episode premiered, we shot to #1 (!!) on the Apple Podcast History charts?! I GOT A #1 HIT, BABY! (in the same sort of technicality way like how I sort-of kind-of have a Tony Award, but still)

Finally, someone has paid me money to write about monks and beer!

My latest piece for the Weather Channel involves two of my favorite things: sustainability, and beer!

Specifically, it’s about a Trappist Monastery in Belgium that has instituted a cool new way to clean their beer tanks using phytoremediation, or plant-based fining. This is not only an environmentally-friendly method of beer production, but it’s also a scalable project that can ultimately help the monastery to produce more microgreens, legumes, and other human-edible food products, making the entire beer production process that much better for people, and the planet.

I also spoke with some other religious leaders about the role of God in environmental stewardship. While the popular narrative tends to show climate-denying Evangelical Christians, there are in fact many devout Christians whose faith actually calls them to actively protect God’s planet from the greed of mankind. And that’s a really powerful message that the world could use right now.

The word of the week is "Float-o-voltaics" →

In my latest piece for the Weather Channel, I spoke with the folks at the Anglo-American Mining Company in Chile, who have created one of the first major commercial floatovoltaic energy systems on one of their mining tailing ponds. What this essentially means is that they’ve floated a bunch of arrays of solar panels onto the semi-toxic water residue from their mine. The water actually helps to make the solar panels more efficient, and the solar panels help to re-purpose the otherwise-wasted space from the mine tailing pond.

It’s actually some pretty fascinating, forward-thinking science, and I’m really glad to have learned about it. Maybe you’ll be into it, too!

Hello I am the Weather Channel now

…Or at least, I’m writing things for the Weather Channel. Which is also pretty cool.

My first piece is for a partnership between the Weather Channel and IBM (who is also their parent company), on some of the cool climate calculation work they’ve been doing together to help better understand the multitude of factors that can affect water quality across the country.

This piece was culled from an hour-plus interview, chock full of a lot of fascinating stuff. I’m pretty pleased with the final product, but the interviewee Lloyd gave me so much more to work with. Maybe I’ll share it here some day.

Welcome to my, erm, gay Soviet zombie ballet? →

I have a new short story out in the latest issue (#8) of Serial Pulp Magazine called “Colder Bodies, Colder Hearts.” I wrote the first draft back in 2013, at the Clarion Writer’s Workshop, and it is, in fact, very loosely based on the real-life invention of the heart-lung machine, particularly this weird-ass Soviet propaganda video.

The original print run has already sold out, but you can still get a digital copy for your Kindle/Nook/iPad/Whathaveyou.tech.

I’ve been searching for a home for this story for a while now, and I’m glad it’s finally out there in the world. It’s different from a lot of the things I normally write, but I hope you like it anyway.

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I Drove A Lyft To Rate The Best Standard & Wireless Charging Car Phone Mounts →

My latest work for Wirecutter is about phone mounts for your car, including those with wireless charging capabilities — and this one’s particularly fun, because I got to drive a Lyft for a week in order to do my testing, with a dozen mounts and 3 phones and an iPad all spread across my dashboard the entire time.

I do have some weird/interesting stories to share, although you won’t find them in the articles. Mostly it was just chauffeuring Cornell kids between frat parties and Target. But perhaps the weirdest part was that … no one thought it was weird that I had a dozen mounts and 3 phones and an iPad in my car at any given time? 🤔

Gun Violence Isn’t a Problem—it’s actually 5 Problems, with Different Solutions →

I’ve written extensively on gun violence, spoken on international TV and radio on the subject, and even pursued a gun license in the strictest city of one of the strictest states in the country. Despite my first-hand experience, the most ardent defenders of the Second Amendment will still tell me things like, “We don’t need more laws! We need to enforce the laws on the books!” or “We can’t stop every shooting because that’s just the price of freedom.” However, those #2A Avengers will still acknowledge that yeah, okay, maybe NICS has some problems, or maybe those Parkland cops should have done something earlier — that is, until they swiftly retreat back into the same tribalistic mindsets that always prevent human progress. But maybe, just maybe, we can find more common ground.

Naming something gives you power over it.

That’s the basic idea behind all the magic in every folktale dating back for centuries, from “Rumpelstiltskin” to the Rolling Stones’ “Hope you guessed my name.” Ancient shamans didn’t practice “magic”; they just had knowledge, and names for things like “eye of newt” that no one else could understand. To name something is to know it, and knowledge is power. Think about the relationship between “spelling” and “spells” and you won’t be so surprised that Harry Potter has been all over the gun violence conversations lately, on both the Left and the Right—which makes sense, considering that they have a word you memorize and practice reciting in order to kill people.

But when we talk about gun violence—or gun control, or gun reform, et cetera et cetera ad nauseam—we’re all too busy tripping over words to see the problems that we’re trying to address. And no, I’m not talking about “gunsplaining,” or even about the eye-roll-inducing “assault weapon” terminology (which is a distinction that I have come to understand and appreciate, and also a debate that is nothing but distracting on every single side of it). It’s hard to deny that gun violence is a problem in the United States of America, but it’s in our attempts to name that problem where we start to lose our footing, and thus, our focus (and I know a thing or two about focus). Perhaps if we learned to name the individual issues of gun violence that need to change, then we can start to identify specific solutions — one at a time, without infringing on civil rights or liberties. Then maybe then we could have some real conversations about how to make our society safer.

Instead of seeing at gun violence at One Big All-Encompassing Monolithic Problem, let’s look at the isolated areas where gun violence needs to be addressed: Domestic Violence, Suicides, Mass Shootings, Gang Violence, and State Violence.

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♫ Everybody cut loose ♫ Bluetooth ♫ wait what no that's not — →

Also on Wirecutter, I did a big ol’ rewrite on our guide to Bluetooth car stereo adaptors. If you — like me — have a car from the early ‘00s and don’t want to bother with installing a whole new fancy stereo system, you can still broadcast your phone to your speakers over Bluetooth transmitted through aux-in or FM radio waves. I’ve also got a pick for dedicated Bluetooth speakerphones, which are fantastic if you’re one of those weirdos who actually uses their smartphone to make phone calls, and does so in the car on a semi-regular basis.

Space. The Final Frontier. Of Me Writing Things For Vice.

Today I have my first article up on Vice’s Motherboard site, about a new discovery in the total sum of matter in the whole entire universe. It’s the kind of mind-blowing physics stuff that’s always made me excited and which … also probably doesn’t mean that much to the average person who isn’t into crazy physics stuff. But I swear! It’s cool!

Don’t take my word for it, though; check it out on Vice.

Lawncare Masterworks, Part 2: →

Continuing on my strange new journey into lawncare products, I just finished a comprehensive Wirecutter guide to hose-end sprinklers. While this certainly not something that I ever thought I’d find an expertise in, I’m quite proud of the work I did along with my editor, Harry Sawyers. We dove pretty deep into something that a lot of people don’t give much consideration to, and spoke with experts from various manufacturers to figure out the “who,” “what,” and “why” of sprinkler-seekers. So if you’re in the need to water your lawn — I gotcha covered!

Smash Mouth wrote “All Star” to warn about climate change & anti-intellectualism 20 years ago—and we turned it into a stupid meme. →

I've been working on this very important research for a year now, and I'm proud to finally share the truth with the world: how Smash Mouth tried to warn us about climate change & modern anti-intellectualism 20 years ago with a little song called "All Star."

This is a very serious work, and you’re welcome for my sacrifice.

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STREETS LIKE THIS: A New World Premiere Play!

For the last couple of months, I've been working with AC Sidle on the Civic Ensemble's Re-Entry Theatre Program to create a new play about prison and addiction, inspired by the real-life stories of people who've lived the struggle. The play started with scenes, written by the program participants—most of whom are or were transitioning out of prison and/or rehab—which I then took and transformed into a full-length, fictional dramatic work.

It started out with their stories, but I gotta say: I'm pretty happy with the final product, and I hope we can continue giving it life across the country, because these conversations aren't going away.

StreetsLikeThisPosterBESTQUALITY.jpg
Ithacans, Civic Ensemble invites you to sit with Deon and Dennis, two local men getting up there in age. Deon is black, Dennis is white; both are worn out from past convictions, dysfunctional institutions, and the preventable deaths of loved ones. From their stoop, watch Crystal, Abby, and Brian struggle with their diverse obstacles and mistakes while stuck in the United States’ broken criminal justice system. Deon and Dennis narrate the stories of these three and other characters navigating the perils of real life and their own demons while dealing with the consequences of probation, incarceration, parole, and court-ordered rehabilitation. Streets Like This, based on true stories, travels from the Meadow Street Mobil to Social Services offices and the curb outside Day Reporting to their own workplaces and homes. The play offers no single solution but rather brings you into their worlds. As Deon says, “But maybe next time, you’ll do more than turn your heads away as you toss some spare change in their cups.”

Saturday May 5 at 7:30pm, followed by opening night party
Sunday May 6 at 4:00 pm & 7:30pm
at Kitchen Theatre Company, 417 MLK Jr St, Ithaca

Monday May 7 at 7:30pm
at GIAC Gymnasium, 301 W Court St, Ithaca