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Thom Dunn is a Boston-based writer, musician, and utterly terrible dancer. He is the singer/guitarist for the indie rock/power-pop the Roland High Life, as well as a staff writer for the New York Times’ Wirecutter and a regular contributor at BoingBoing.net. Thom enjoys Oxford commas, metaphysics, and romantic clichés (especially when they involve whiskey), and he firmly believes that Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" is the single greatest atrocity committed against mankind. He is a graduate of Clarion Writer's Workshop at UCSD ('13) & Emerson College ('08).

You Had Me at "Slutty Teenage Vampire Hobo Junkies"

Or, I suppose more accurately, I was had at "four hour bus ride to New York City what should I read to pass the time ooh this looks interesting and I bet I can devour it in one sitting." And that's how I came to read The Orange Eats Creeps, the debut novel by Grave Krilanovich, which is less Twilight and more Requiem for a Dream; less sparkly vampires, more meth addiction.

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Oh, Marvel Cinematic Universe, WHY WON'T YOU LET ME LOVE YOU?!

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show has had a rocky first season, but this past week's tie-in episode to Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier was totally also. And also emblematic of everything that's wrong with the show in the first place. Because I'm incapable of turning off my critical writer mind and simply enjoying a lighthearted situation secret agent series, I have articulated my frustrations with Agents Of Stupid Hydra Infiltration, Everything Lame and Dumb (see what I did there?) in a new article for Tor.com. So check out, and share your thoughts in the comments, 'natch.


(but seriously this show would be so much better if it had more Hasslehoff)

REVIEW: Polarity by Max Bemis and Jorge Coelho

Polarity

As much as I enjoy Say Anything (the band fronted by writer Max Bemis), I was hesitant to pick up this comic because, well, the premise sounds exactly like the pseudo-autobiographical premise of their first album "...Is A Real Boy," which kindofsortamaybe chronicled Bemis's descent into super-powered bi-polar disorder -- except that, while recording said album, Max Bemis was actually diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and locked himself up for a while. But, the book was on sale for $4 on ComiXology, so I figured hey, why not.

While I tend to be the kind of person who connects with comic books more the writing than the art (although I do love a good collaboration), I'd first look to say that the artwork on this book is PHENOMENAL. It's slightly cartoonish, but not a childish way, and accurately portrays hyperviolence, superhero action, internal mindscape struggles, and hipster culture. As for the story itself, it didn't shy away from the fact that it was a slight variation on the story that Bemis has told several times already. The basic premise is that Tim is an artist and self-loathing hipster who suffers from bi-polar disorder, and after he's institutionalized and begins taking pills, he can't create his art. So he goes off his medication, and soon discovers that his untreated condition literally gives him superpowers. But maybe he's too dangerous, and maybe there's a Shadowy Government Organization trying to create an army of Bi-Polar Super Soldiers? Meanwhile, his art is getting better, and he meets a girl.

Overall, it's a pretty enjoyable story, and while applying science fictional concepts to mental illness is nothing new, I actually think that Bemis does it in a pretty fresh way -- by essentially saying that yes, mental illness IS a superpower, but the same way that traditional superheroes suffer from their extra-human abilities, maybe it's still better if you take your pills and try to function like a normal person. That being said, I'm not sure how this book would read to someone who was unfamiliar with "hipster" culture. The main character spends a lot of the book criticizing everyone around him for being hypocrites and poseurs, and ultimately realizes that he's just the same as the rest of them. If you're familiar with Say Anything's music, Tim's rants are all basically pulled straight out of the song "Admit it!" As far as cultural critique is concerned, it is an interesting analysis of hipsterdom that I mostly agree with, even if it is a bit misanthropic (which works well in a loud rock song, but feels different as internal monologue).

That being said, I wonder how someone who was outside of or unfamiliar with "hipster culture" would feel about this book. It's very insular, and some might even say that hipsters criticizing hipsters for being hipsters is THE most hipster thing possible, and while the story does acknowledge that irony (while also criticizing irony as the cheapest form of hipster self-defense), it never quite transcends it. I suspect that if you weren't already aware of and/or immersed in that post-art-school-Williamsburg-landscape, you'd think, "Okay, so these are a bunch of Urban Outfitters asshole who are too cool for Urban Outfitters and this main character is kind of an unlikeable dick who judges everyone around him for being fake judgmental assholes -- why should I care?" And if that's you, I might suggest that you're better served by listening to "Woe" and "Admit it!" by Say Anything, which pretty much sum up the book.

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


REVIEW: The Shambling Guide to New York City by Mur Lafferty

This was enjoyable, but it took me longer to get through than it should have, because I didn't care enough. It's a fun concept, I like the world, but I wish it had either been funnier, or darker (for example, and this is a slight spoiler: if you have a co-worker who's a succubus and feeds on sexual energy, and he tries to seduce your character at a nightclub because he's hungry, and you DON'T find a way to make that a metaphor either for date rape, or a regrettable but consensual one night stand with a co-worker? C'mon! It's right there!). Instead, it was kind of a mediocre middle ground between monsters and tourism that was certainly fun, but nothing remarkable. I loved the idea of Public Works, and the zombies, and some of the characters were still fun (despite the fact that I have literally no idea what the protagonist looked like). By the time the epic ending came around, which I guess was kind of cool, I was more interested in finishing the book than I was in what actually happened to any of the characters (spoilers: they all live happily ever after. lame).

My rating: 2.5 of 5 stars

View all my reviews

Upcoming Stuff & Events & Things (Nov. '13)

Hello, website! Long time, no update! I swear that one of these days I am going to actually train myself to just make brief updates here as they happen, instead of these info dumps. ANYWAY. I've got some stuff going on, because of course I do. It goes like this:

Meanwhile, in addition to my normal duties at Five By Five Hundred, I have a review of Eric Smith's new book The Geek's Guide To Dating on Tor.com, and some coverage of SpeakEasy Stage Company's world premiere production of Make Up Your Mind, a brand new play by Kurt Vonnegut even though he's dead.

And then, ya know, the youge (like, the slang/shortened word for "usual," but spelled phonetically? Is that right?): Workin', writin', so on and so forth. Tonight at the Huntington we start performances for The Cocktail Hour by A.R. Gurney, which is directed by Maria Aitken, a favorite of ours at the theatre. Here's a little video I made for that:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa_ckErMzAY]

I also wrote some fun stuff about ghost stories at the theatre on the Huntington's blog which is still worth reading even though it's after Halloween, as well as two pieces of flash fiction in this "Quantum Shorts" competition that you can go read and vote for so I can win some monies: I Kill Dead People and Not Dead Yet (which was the basis for my story in Grayhaven Comics' Fifth Dimension anthology).

Wow that's a whole lot of dead stuff. In that case, I should end this on a happy note, which is that Maurissa Tancharoen both listened to and enjoyed my song "I'll Fight A Whedon For You"; unfortunately, her husband Jed was less than impressed.

So now I've pissed one Whedon and armwrestled another, which only leaves Zak for me still to cross. But overall I think that means that I've successfully become a Whedonverse villain?

Holy crap, I'll be 28 in 2 weeks.

Oh, and One More Thing...

Who's got two months and totally has picture (along with the rest of his talented Clarion 2013 cohort) in this month's issue of Locus Magazine, like some sort of real-life science fiction/fantasy author? THIS GUY.

That's me in the center, with the Red Sox shirt and sunglasses. No, not that guy with the sunglasses, that's Will Kaufman (though you should probably know him, too, because the dude writes the weirdest fucking stories that will absolutely break your heart and blow your mind and he's kind of brilliant and hilarious and also I love him dearly). I'm the handsome one next to him.

*This month's issue of Locus also includes features on two of my incredible Clarion mentors, Nalo Hopkinson & Cory Doctorow, as if my handsome mug weren't reason enough to check it out.

You For Me For You Reviews

The reviews have started coming in for You For Me For You, directed by my girlfriend, M. Bevin O'Gara. EDGE Boston says:

"M. Bevin O’Gara’s sensitive and humanistic direction satisfyingly plumbs the depths beyond the novelty of the script to keep our hearts and minds firmly engaged in the sisters’s fate. O’Gara has the benefit of a wonderful cast of mostly Asian actors who have freed themselves from the muted performances too often imposed on them to this day in the popular American media. They give their emotions full throttle and so engage ours."

So, ya know. That's nice. Here's a little video I put together of audience testimonials, in case you're still not convinced!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsW5qxdLAOw]

Wow. Our Town. Wow. Okay.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPwJ-8cGXpI] I say this with no personal bias -- not because my wonderful girlfriend, the producer of this fine production, has been busting her ass for 10 months to make this show as a reality, and not as an employee of the theatre company that is presenting the show.

David Cromer's production of Our Town at the Huntington is one of the Desert Island All-Time Top 5 Most Moving Shared Communal Experiences I have ever had in my entire life.

Perhaps it's especially poignant for me when I think of the friends that I've lost in recent years, but I watched the show on both Tuesday and Wednesday night, and I couldn't stand to watch it for a third time last night for our opening because I was already so overwhelmed with emotion. Three days in a row, and I think I would be eternally reduced to a sobbing puddle of flesh lying in fetal position on the floor. Yes, this show is so good that I literally could not watch it a third time (although I will probably go back at the end of the run, and hopefully catch some things I missed the other 2 times, because there's so much to see in the nothingness of this production, and as the play itself suggests, we can't possibly appreciate all of it when it's happening).

Anyway, there's a video I made up there about the show. I cannot stress enough how powerful and poignant this production truly is. Our Town might be seen as hokey and sentimental and high school-y to many people (though oddly I grew up in Thornton Wilder's hometown and never read or saw the show once, although I did play lots of shitty punk rock shows at Thornton Wilder Memorial Hall), but man, David Cromer just gets it, in a way that'll just blow your mind.

(Also don't read the review in The Boston Globe because [a] it's douchey, [b] IT SPOILS THE END OF THE PLAY, and [c] it's douchey. Yes, Our Town has been around a while, so there are certain spoilers that are now beyond the statute of limitations, but to spoil what makes this production so remarkable -- and to spoil it in such a nonchalant manner -- is awful. If this guy had reviewed The Sixth Sense when it first came out, he would have said "And then it turns out that Bruce Willis was dead the whole time which was totally brilliant and stunning -- I mean, that is to say, if you're one of those people who enjoys brilliant and stunning things or whatever. But otherwise, meh.")

They Like Me! They Really Like Me!

GOOD NEWS: The 2012 BroadwayWorld Boston Award nominations are out, and my play True Believers has been nominated for a ton of them, including Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Direction, and Best Ensemble (they seem to have gotten rid of the "Best Play - Small/Fringe" category this year, jerks) BAD NEWS: Now you have to go vote for me. With every email address you have. Also tell your friends to do the same. Or else The Cyborg Head of Stan Lee will come to your house and destroy your soul. KTHXBYE.

(also, while you're at it, vote for my girlfriend M. Bevin O'Gara's incredible production of Love Person at Company One, in all of those categories, too, 'cause she's awesome.)

(you can also vote for the Huntington in all of the Large Theatre categories as long as you're there, ya know?)

Batman and Robin Will Never Die!

Is there anyone alive who doesn't agree that Batman is totally awesome? No? That's what I thought.

It's also well documented by anyone who's ever met me that I have a serious fascination with comic book writer / chaos magician / Scotsman / rockstar / occasional fictional character Grant Morrison, who, by sheer coincidence, has been guiding the adventures of the Dark Knight for the past 7 years or so as the man behind the pen. The good folks at Tor.com were kind of enough to let me indulge my Morrison obsession and love for clever poetic puzzles, and I re-read his entire story (so far) to provide a critical analysis of what appears to be his deconstruction of the identity of Batman -- both as a symbol or piece of mythology, and as the man himself behind the mask, Bruce Wayne.

This undertaking proved to be much more epic than I had originally anticipated, but I'm still quite pleased with the end results. So check it out, even if you haven't read all of Morrison's Bat-epic (but really, you should probably do that).

"How Grant Morrison’s 7-Year Batman Epic is Becoming the Ultimate Definition of Batman" on Tor Dot Com

True Believers Closing and More Reviews

Before I run away to Florida and sleep for 2 weeks straight because I need it, here's a final roundup of more reviews for the world premiere of True Believers:

"Dunn's script is smart and sharply written. He creates memorable and believable characters set in this world who many of us can either relate to, or just be familiar with.  The comedic moments are great and chock full of fantastic one liners. He also is able to create strong and powerful dramatic moments that help balance the comedy.  It doesn't become a parody, but a snap shot of what this world could very well be like. What else can be said about this show except only more praise?"  - MuffinEatsDragon.com

"I was impressed with this show for many reasons, but the foremost was the interesting, thoughtful story that they told extremely well. The second is that it spoke authentically to the nerd fringe community. I know, ‘nerd culture’ is the hip thing right now with comic book movies dominating the box office, but I agree with the sentiment that this newfound cash cow does not represent the community in a real way. Though it does help to normalizesome nerd culture. True Believers by Thom Dunn feels like a play that intimately knows what conventions are like. Their lights are clever, their sound is full of hilarious nerdy references, the script is clever, the characters are interesting, and the actors are brilliant. I could not recommend this show more."  - My Entertainment World

And to top it off, we were the Pick Of The Week in RadioBoston! All in all, I'd say that's not so bad for a nerdy little play about a comic book convention.

Now without any further ado, I'm going to retreat and recuperate for a few years. You'll hear from me eventually...

First review of True Believers is a rave!

From EdgeBoston:

Heroes and villains clash in Thom Dunn’s True Believers; it’s not the fate of the cosmos that hangs in the balance, but rather the personal worlds of everyone involved. This salute to comic-con is fraught with sharp writing and impeccable performances. Comic books are wildly colorful exaggerations of life, a form of contemporary myth, and Dunn understands this. Dunn’s energetic script takes on the general form of a farce, albeit one in which aimless young men dress in crude cardboard approximations of cyborg armor. The play’s particulars may be specific to a certain social subset, but its themes and motivations are universal. The characterizations are well wrought and the jokes are smart, sometimes downright wicked sharp.

Yeah, alright, I'll take that! You can read the full review online as well. We have just 5 more performances this week (Wed - Sat) before the show closes, so make sure you catch it will you can!

Billy Horowitz and the No Good Horrible Very Bad AVENGERS Movie

Here's a little sneak peek at the world premiere of my new play True Believers. Billy Horowitz is a self-proclaimed "rogue video blogger" (as well as a cyborg), and his passion for comic books tends to drive him into a destructive frenzy. His video blogs feature prominently into the play, projected on the stage, and here, Billy takes his shot at The Avengers movie. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB6f0bb-n1Y]

Don't forgot to buy your tickets for the show, which only runs for 2 weeks. Performances start this Thursday!

Haiku Beer Review: The Third!

Continuing in my established tradition from the Mass Brewer's Fest and last year's Winter Beer Jubilee, I present for you the latest installment of Haiku Beer Review, compiled at the 2012 Winter Beer Summit. I make tasting notes into my phone as the night goes on, so that I can turn them into haikus when I get home (and eventually sober up). I know, I know, I'm a genius, it's true. Anyway, enjoy! (Also, thanks to Dig Boston for the free tickets and for putting up with my whining. #thomdunnwantsbeer)

"Haiku Beer Review #3: Winter Beer Summit 2012" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

Haiku Beer Review — Part 2

In a tradition that began back in January at the Winter Beer Jubilee in Boston, I recently posted the second iteration of my "Haiku Beer Review" series, which is precisely what it sounds like — beer reviews, in haiku form (I also try to tweet Haiku Beer Reviews whenever I try a new brew at a bar). These reviews began as voice memos that were taken by my friends and I at the Mass Brewer’s Fest at the Seaport World Trade Center in Boston on September 2, 2011, but I only just got around to compiling the voice memos and turning them into haikus. Anyway, if you like beer and/or poetry and/or drinking, I'd advise you check it out (along with, hopefully, some new beers)!

"Beer Review Haiku part Two" at FiveByFiveHundred.com

There's Nothing To Fear — But Fear Itself

Marvel recently wrapped their latest installment of the annual BigMegaUltra Superhero Summer Event, Fear Itself, written by Matt Fraction with art by Stuart Immonen. First of all, I want to congratulate those two talented creators with putting out the first big event book that shipped completely on time, a masterful feat in and of itself (if past event comics are to be any barometer). I realize that writing an event comic is a serious challenge for creators — the nature of such a series requires the writer to blow over the smaller individual character moments (usually reserved for the tie-in books) in favor of dictating the major action of the storyline. The supplementary titles are merely ribs; the main title is the spine of the story, and as such, is expected to present the major story beats with gusto, while still remaining completely self-contained. It is in this regard that, in my opinion — and I'm not just saying this with blind fanboy rage, but an objective mind — Fear Itself failed to make the mark. (Some spoilers abound. Just FYI)

Some personal history: I have a very fickle relationship with Matt Fraction. When he first came on the mainstream comics scene with books like The Order and Sensational Spider-Man Annual (quite possibly my single favorite issue of a comic book ever written in the history of mankind, ever), I thought he was an absolute genius, combining the wild imaginations of writers like Morrison and Ellis, without ever losing sight of the heart of his stories. I still think that Casanova (especially the most recent volume) is one of the most brilliant pieces of post-postmodern literature I've ever read. But somewhere along the line, it felt like Fraction became so obsessed with trying to out-clever and out-hip himself that he lost sight of what he was doing (his Uncanny X-Men run in particular was especially uneven). While I had not been reading his run on Thor, I decided I would pick up Fear Itself anyway, almost as a nostalgic notion for the bromance that we once shared.

Some Fear Itself history: [...]

And therein lay my first problem with Fear Itself. There was really no buildup to this story whatsoever (with the exception of Ed Brubaker's Book of the Skull one-shot, itself branded as a Fear Itself prologue). An event such as this should of course be able to exist on its own, but it seemed like Fear Itself in a vacuum by itself. There was no indication within the ongoing story of the overall Marvel universe that any of this was coming, or that it even mattered. All of a sudden and without any prior warning, there was this new character, "The Serpent," who was apparently the long-lost brother of Odin, Lord of Asgard (despite there being no previous reference to Odin ever secretly banishing his evil brother and rightful heir to the throne of the Gods, at least as far as I was aware, nor any pre-established Norse mythology surrounding Odin's usurpation of the throne). And he was evil. That was about where the character development ended. The Serpent was evil, and when teamed up with Sin, the new Red Skull (who, conveniently, was also evil), they together were...(wait for it)...evil.

Whereas House of M, Civil War, World War Hulk, Secret Invasion, and Siege all explored some degree of moral ambiguity, the initial threat of Fear Itself was...the bad guys are evil, and they are going to do bad things because they are evil. Granted, moral ambiguity eventually came along in the form of Odin threatening to raze the Earth in order to destroy The Serpent before he was able to let loose and wreak havoc amongst the other Eight Realms, but that felt like a fairly minor and quickly resolved plot point. Meanwhile, the bad guys decide to attack the Earth, because they are evil, and that is what bad guys do, because they are evil. Mystical "evil" hammers are dropped from the heavens with no explanation, and end up possessing those who are "worthy" with the evil spirits of some other long-lost and long-forgotten Asgardian demons. Even this is never quite explained; the possession can be understood through context, as well as their allegiance to The Serpent, but why were these characters deemed "worthy?" While I realize that some of these details were reserved for the tie-in books, I still couldn't help but feel slightly cheated. Were The Hulk and The Thing possessed because of their respective pre-existing rage, or other negative emotions? I mean, I guess that makes sense. But as we eventually learn, "fear" is The Serpent's manipulative emotion of choice, not anger/rage.

This brings me to my next problem with Fear Itself: show and tell. Starting towards the end of Issue #3, we are told that The Serpent derives his power from "fear." From that point on, we are simply told that people are "afraid," and that this somehow powers The Serpent. While the soundbytes from news station were a good idea, they felt too distant to me. So much of the press surrounding Fear Itself has discussed how it's a "street-level" story for the "everyman." But having The Serpent, or some newscaster, tell me that "There is fear!" isn't really good dramatic writing; it's telling, not showing, and therefore betraying one of the cardinal rules of writing. So how do you express abstract emotions such fear in a graphic format without simply telling? That was a challenge that Matt Fraction willingly took on, and while I commend him for taking that risk, I can't help but feel that he lost the trial.

Of course, all dramatic writing is built around stakes; if the stakes are high enough, even the smallest story can be justified. In Fear Itself, we were told there were "stakes" — that this was somehow the worst invasion/attack of all time (in the Marvel Universe, no less!) and that mankind was doomed to fail. But at no point was this ever shown or demonstrated (once again, telling and not showing). How or why was The Serpent so much more threatening and destructive than the Skrulls, or the angry Hulk, or the Void? Is it because he was a "God" — once again, one with no back story or previous buildup? Maybe I had trouble understanding why the people were afraid because I was never sure why I was supposed to be afraid. Each and every Marvel event promises mass destruction and a somewhat Pyrrhic victory; why should this be any different?

Most major comic book events utilize the death of some ancillary character in the beginning (or occasionally the end — RIP Janet Van Dyne) of the second act as a way to prove or justify the stakes of the story. In Fear Itself, Bucky, the nü-Captain America, was killed in the third issue*, a Red Shirt Joe Schmoe casualty to prove to the readers, "this shit is real!" While I certainly appreciate the dramatic notion that Sin, the replacement Red Skull, kills Bucky, the replacement Captain America, the act itself could not have felt any more cheap and contrived. BuckyCap (as he is so affectionately known) had never made a single appearance in Fear Itself until Issue #3 when he was killed. For me, this harkened back to Civil War, but at least then, Mark Millar put Black Goliath (Wikipedia link because you had no idea who he was either until he was dead) to some use in the issues leading up to his death in order to add to the weight of his sacrifice. All personal issue with killing off Bucky aside (that Ed Brubaker did an incredible job of bringing back one of the supposed "no-no" dead characters of comic book mythology, and created an incredibly unique and compelling character as result, etc.), his death felt so cheap and forced because it was so clearly a plot device and nothing more.

That brings us to our climactic death scene: Thor, the Norse God of Thunder. In Norse mythology, Thor ultimately slays the serpent Jörmungandr before taking nine steps and falling to his own death; this is one of the many stations of the Norse Ragnarök, the endlessly cyclical death and rebirth of the Gods. So I understand what Matt Fraction was going for, mining a piece of Norse mythology for his story. Unfortunately, we never shown (or dramatically demonstrated) any reason why Thor would die after killing The Serpent. We saw that he was weakened, certainly; but in the final issue of Fear Itself, an outraged Thor certainly seemed to lay the smackdown on his enemy. Why did he have to die, other than to fulfill some ancient prophecy? In most stories involving prophecies (much like those involving time travel), there's some kind of unspoken twist to the prophecy; a character is aware of his own fate, and does what he can to avoid it, but ultimately his actions, however heroic, lead to his demise through some form of dramatic irony. But this was not the case in Fear Itself. Thor defeated The Serpent in what was certainly an exhausting battle and then...he died. Because he had to, because the prophecy said so. Perhaps the stakes, and the emotional gravitas, would have been higher if we had actually seen Thor visibly sacrifice himself to take down The Serpent; instead he just died, because he had to. Which is dramatic, sure, but not dramatic enough.

(Furthermore, there's the issue that Thor is an Asgardian God, one who has seen this cycle of death and rebirth countless times; despite the fact that he was off-the-board of the Marvel Universe and only recently returned anyway, it is the very nature of his being to return to life, thereby further diminishing the dramatic value of his death. As shocking as it was when Loki was killed at the end of Siege, even he was brought back shortly, simply because that is the nature of an Asgardian God)

Finally, I was disappointed by the "everyman perspective" of the series. We saw in Issue #1 how the current economy had affected those who live in Brockton, Ohio, in the shadow of the Asgardian Gods, and while we were introduced to a point-of-view "everyman" character, we were never given enough to invest in him. Even in the final issue, when Captain America mistakes Rick's aid for that Luke Cage — a touching moment, certainly — we ultimately see the Marvel Superheroes saving the day. "As it should be," you might be saying (in which, I would agree with you). Perhaps my frustration here comes not from the context of the story, but from the media/press/interviews around it. As much as I liked seeing the reactions of the man-on-the-street (although again, there was not nearly as much showing as there was telling), reading about the story was about humans, about the everyman saving the superhero when the superhero fails...I don't buy it. The everyman played a major role in the end of Civil War, as well as Norman Osborn's rise to power during Dark Reign/Siege. So it was a perspective we'd seen. As such, the way it was portrayed in Fear Itself was not much different than the way we'd seen it before, and in the end, it was the superheroes, blessed with Asgardian abilities, that saved the day, not the everyman (as is the nature of any superhero story).

That being said, I will commend Fear Itself for its handful of totally badass moments. The shattering of Captain America's shield, and his subsequent lifting of Thor's hammer? Awesome. Resonant. Great. Giant Nazi Mechs smashing things? Yes please! Iron Man's "sacrifice to the Gods" as he desperately tried to get Odin's attention? Knowing a few alcoholics myself, that genuinely made me shiver. Hell, I didn't even mind an exhausted and frustrated Thor calling the possessed Hulk an "ass," or Spider-Man asking Cap if he could leave the battlefront and be with Aunt May when he thought all hope was lost. But overall, a few great moments could not make up for the larger oversights of this comic book mini-series event. In the end, as someone who doesn't regularly follow the Thor/Journey into Mystery/Asgardian stories, the consequences of the storyline still don't feel so far reaching. Even more insulting was the painfully transparent ending to Issue #7, which consisted consisted entirely of teaser set-ups for other series spinning of the ending. Clearly any major comic book crossover event is going to be a vessel through which to deliver new series to readers, but to make that vessel feel so transparent only serves to further cheapen the experience. The story should still be able to stand on its own, with some kind of satisfactory resolution, while somehow informing or enhancing the ongoing universe from which it was birthed. Valkyrie chasing down the mystical evil hammers of The Worthy? Okay, sure. The Battlescars book, with this mysterious "Marcus Johnson" character? The details are still vague enough that I can't get myself interested (that being said, I will probably be picking up Matt Fraction's The Defenders series, if for no other reason than to read him writing Iron Fist again). It seems to me, the ultimate fallout of Fear Itself suffers from "telling instead of showing," much like the rest of the series: there is damage. That is bad. Thor and Bucky are "dead." People are sad. As far as dramatic writing goes, that's not quite the best place from which to launch your next few years' worth of stories.

I'm not saying "I hate you Marvel Comics you raped my childhood I'm never going to read your books!" again, and I'm not saying "You suck, Matt Fraction!" On the contrary; Matt Fraction and I shall gleefully carry on with our emotionally abusive relationship, and I will continue to read Marvel Comics. I merely felt that, from an objective, critical view of storytelling, Fear Itself was ultimately a letdown. It's like when you're a teenager and you get in trouble with your parents: when they're mad at you, it just serves to further fuel your rage, but when mom or dad says "I'm disappointed in you, son" — well, that's when it really hurts. And quite frankly, I'm disappointed in you, Marvel. But that doesn't mean I love you any less.

*The reversal of Bucky's death in Fear Itself #7.1 was awesome and brilliant and something so clearly planned in advance by the ever-scheming Ed Brubaker that I could not have been more giddy to read it. Although, that being said, while I'm excited about the Winter Soldier's new status quo, at the same point, it also further infuriates me in regards to his poorly-played death in Fear Itself.

#1stWorldProblems: The Novel

Apparently Nicole Richie is a New York Times Bestselling Novelist. I'm sorry, I'm not sure if you heard me correctly. Nicole Richie is a New York Times Bestselling Novelist.

Upon discovering this fact, I took upon myself to read the debut novel responsible for awarding her such a distinction.

While it would be harsh and unfair to say that I regret this decision, I can confidently say that it was hardly a good decision. Next time such a thought crosses my scattered and impulsive mind, I implore you to stop me and question my poor decision-making skills.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy my objective critical review of the novel over on DailyGenoshan.com.

Review: "The Truth About Diamonds," by Nicole Richie