The Legend of the Great Sigourney Weaver

My latest Badlands episode was pitched to me with a helluva challenge. My editor Zeth came to me and said, “We want to do an episode about Sigourney Weaver,” which made me raise an eyebrow. As far as I was aware, Sigourney Weaver wasn’t really someone with a reputation for sex, drugs, and other lurid activity, ya know? I feel like she’s a pretty wholesome person.

But Zeth had an idea. There was – as I learned — apparently a really fucked up murder case that got into all kinds of slippery complications in the legal system. And the killer — who, to be clear, definitely did it — apparently had a serious mental break that involved worshiping Sigourney Weaver as a goddess.

So that would be my “in” to the story. Tell the story of Sigourney Weaver’s life, through the veil of this horrifying crime.

I always do a lot of research for these podcasts. But this is the only time I found myself looking up old court transcripts and appeals. Badlands is a stylized show, and I wanted to honor that pulpy aesthetic without glamorizing the horror and trauma at the center of it. I wanted to approach it with empathy and truth, inasmuch as I could in this situation.

I think I did a pretty damn good job, if I do say so myself.

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My new BADLANDS episode on Diego Maradona is out now!

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I’m not much of a sports guy — but that doesn’t stop me from writing a helluva’n anti-imperialist crime yarn! And that’s exactly what I did for my latest Badlands episode, which focuses on the football legend Diego Maradona.

Diego Maradona was busted for drugs, prostitution, and shooting an air rifle at reporters. He was also associated with one of the biggest and oldest organized crime families in Italy. Despite all of this, Diego Maradona somehow still showed up the next day and played a great game of soccer. He even turned a soccer match into a weapon during a centuries-long war between England and Argentina. Diego Maradona was more than one of the greatest of all time on the pitch – he was also one of the most infamous.

You can check it out below, or wherever you listen to your podcasts:

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Exploring the lurid life of Armie Hammer on BADLANDS

My script for the Season 5 premiere of the Badlands podcast could not be more opposite from the script I wrote for the Season 4 finale. Okay well maybe that’s not entirely true — they both involved a lot of sensitivity and careful wording. In the case of Robin Williams, that was because of the tragedy surrounding his suicide. In the case of Armie Hammer, that was, uhhh, because of ongoing legal matters and some really dark sexual fetishes that I don’t want to kink-shame but also went to some pretty disturbing places.

So, ya know. Tread lightly and all. But in very, very different ways.

Here’s the synopsis for the Badlands Season 5 premiere, written by me, titled “Armie Hammer: Dirty Texts, Bloodthirsty Fetishes, and a Cannibal Kink”

With his chiseled jawline and matinee idol good looks, Armie Hammer could have been another leading man like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt. But Armie Hammer was not most movie stars. He wasn't even most people. On the surface, his life was perfectly curated and appeared picture-perfect, with no major public scandals or dirt-digging by the press. But his increasingly bizarre appearances in interviews and on social media, not to mention leaked videos and texts, led to shocking revelations about what was really going on behind closed doors. And what was going on was more wild than the untamed dreams of a Hollywood screenwriter.

You can listen to the episode below, or wherever you get your podcasts:

My new BADLANDS podcast about Robins Williams is now out everywhere!

I’ve been doing some freelance writing work lately for Double Elvis Productions, the company behind the popular true crime music podcast Disgraceland (which also just aired its 100th episode). The first of my scripts to go live is the ✨season finale✨ to the latest season of Badlands: Hollywoodland, which goes deep on the dark side of Robin Williams’ life, leading up to this tragically complicated death.

I’m really, really effing proud of the work I did on this one. It’s obviously a sensitive subject, and one that really affected me personally on a lot of levels, and I think I did a damn good job of handling it with care, without losing the delight and humanity of the story. Also, it was just a cool experience scripting within an established episode format, with a pre-existing structure and stuff.

You can check out the episode below, or on whatever podcast platform you prefer:

…Also did I mention that, right after my episode premiered, we shot to #1 (!!) on the Apple Podcast History charts?! I GOT A #1 HIT, BABY! (in the same sort of technicality way like how I sort-of kind-of have a Tony Award, but still)

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Hello I am the Weather Channel now

…Or at least, I’m writing things for the Weather Channel. Which is also pretty cool.

My first piece is for a partnership between the Weather Channel and IBM (who is also their parent company), on some of the cool climate calculation work they’ve been doing together to help better understand the multitude of factors that can affect water quality across the country.

This piece was culled from an hour-plus interview, chock full of a lot of fascinating stuff. I’m pretty pleased with the final product, but the interviewee Lloyd gave me so much more to work with. Maybe I’ll share it here some day.

I Drove A Lyft To Rate The Best Standard & Wireless Charging Car Phone Mounts →

My latest work for Wirecutter is about phone mounts for your car, including those with wireless charging capabilities — and this one’s particularly fun, because I got to drive a Lyft for a week in order to do my testing, with a dozen mounts and 3 phones and an iPad all spread across my dashboard the entire time.

I do have some weird/interesting stories to share, although you won’t find them in the articles. Mostly it was just chauffeuring Cornell kids between frat parties and Target. But perhaps the weirdest part was that … no one thought it was weird that I had a dozen mounts and 3 phones and an iPad in my car at any given time? 🤔

STREETS LIKE THIS: A New World Premiere Play!

For the last couple of months, I've been working with AC Sidle on the Civic Ensemble's Re-Entry Theatre Program to create a new play about prison and addiction, inspired by the real-life stories of people who've lived the struggle. The play started with scenes, written by the program participants—most of whom are or were transitioning out of prison and/or rehab—which I then took and transformed into a full-length, fictional dramatic work.

It started out with their stories, but I gotta say: I'm pretty happy with the final product, and I hope we can continue giving it life across the country, because these conversations aren't going away.

Ithacans, Civic Ensemble invites you to sit with Deon and Dennis, two local men getting up there in age. Deon is black, Dennis is white; both are worn out from past convictions, dysfunctional institutions, and the preventable deaths of loved ones. From their stoop, watch Crystal, Abby, and Brian struggle with their diverse obstacles and mistakes while stuck in the United States’ broken criminal justice system. Deon and Dennis narrate the stories of these three and other characters navigating the perils of real life and their own demons while dealing with the consequences of probation, incarceration, parole, and court-ordered rehabilitation. Streets Like This, based on true stories, travels from the Meadow Street Mobil to Social Services offices and the curb outside Day Reporting to their own workplaces and homes. The play offers no single solution but rather brings you into their worlds. As Deon says, “But maybe next time, you’ll do more than turn your heads away as you toss some spare change in their cups.”

Saturday May 5 at 7:30pm, followed by opening night party
Sunday May 6 at 4:00 pm & 7:30pm
at Kitchen Theatre Company, 417 MLK Jr St, Ithaca

Monday May 7 at 7:30pm
at GIAC Gymnasium, 301 W Court St, Ithaca

My first full guide for Wirecutter!

That's right: not only did we revamp the entire Wirecutter website with a cool new look and fancy mobile friendliness, but I've also published my first official guide for them! Check it out:

Ironically, I also shaved my beard off this morning, so my author photo is no longer accurate.

So uhhhhh I just signed with a literary agent? So that's cool?

That's right: I just signed with a literary agent! The Kepner Agency was so impressed with my Irish Boston supernatural punk rock noir tentatively titled Pints of 'Gansett Make You Strong  that they want to make something happen with it!

Excuse me while I go dance over here in the corner.

In the meantime, you can listen to the official unofficial Pints of 'Gansett Make You Strong soundtrack to tide you over, 'cause publishing takes a while.

"Hidden Youth: Speculative Fiction from the Margins of History" is now available, and totally worth it. I swear.

My first professional-rate short story is now available in print from Crossed Genres! "An Baile na mBan" is just one of 22 tales of fantastical diversity in the pre-1930s world, all featured in Hidden Youth: Speculative Fiction from the Margins of History. (Perhaps not-so-surprisingly, mine's about pucas, Travellers, and abortion during the Irish Civil War.)

Publisher's Weekly said, "The offerings are solid, entertaining, and generally fascinating, conjuring up voices and experiences not often heard. This collection is well worth checking out for all fans of speculative fiction."

From the publisher...

“The sequel to the World Fantasy and Locus Award-nominated anthology Long Hidden, Hidden Youth focuses on children: underage protagonists marginalized in their time. 22 excellent stories ranging across nearly 2,400 years and spanning the globe, Hidden Youth reveals the stories of young people whose lives have been pushed to the margins of history.”

Up and Worthy!

Just a friendly update to show what I've been up to at Upworthy these past few weeks! First, here's a slideshow put together by our Editorial Director, Amy O'Leary, detailing the company's new direction (with the secondary purpose of pre-emptively shutting down your rehashed "clickbait" jokes*):

July 8 2015 — Upworthy Editorial Vision from UpworthyAdmin

While I'm still getting the hang of the system (it's only been 2 weeks, after all), I've still got a few stories up that you can check out. It's mostly coincidence that the subject matter is, well, pretty much right my alley. I've also got a new Official Writer-y Facebook page, if you want to follow all of my (strictly professional!) adventures.

*I can say that, because my own jokes are half the reason that I work there now.

Everything Happens So Much

First of all, sorry for the lack of updates — as you'll see below, things have been pretty crazy 'round these parts.

For one thing, I'm already a week late on announcing my participation in the Clarion Write-a-thon to raise money for the Clarion Writing Workshop at UCSD, which I attended in 2013. I kind of, uhhh, messed up when I was filling out my sponsorship profile, and I meant to write a goal of 800 words a day in pursuit of this novelization that I'm working on. Instead, I accidentally wrote 800 words total for the entire summer. Ah well. Either way! Give me money to give to Clarion!

I've written before about the incredible personal and professional impact of my Clarion experience, which is why I feel so strongly about providing the same opportunities for other young writers. I came away from those 6 weeks not only with some amazing new friendships, but a stronger grasp on my own strengths and faults as a writer, as well as a greater familiarity and confidence in the genre publishing industry as a whole. And while it might not seem a direct correlation, I feel confident in attributing much of my success as a current full-time professional writer to the Clarion Workshop.

Oh. That's the other thing that happened: starting July 1, I will be a full-time salaried staff writer for Upworthy.com. "Isn't that that click-bait-y website with all the happy liberal stuff?" you might ask, in which case, well, you're not entirely off the mark. But in truth, Upworthy does tremendous promoting and supporting numerous progressive causes, campaigns, and charities, and getting their stuff in front of millions of eyeballs every month (also, they've all-but-sworn-off the "click-bait-y" stuff in the last 2 years, after indirectly creating an Internet monster out of it). They're going through a bit of a renaissance right now as well, part of which involves a shift towards more original storytelling and content, which is where I come in. The specifics of my storytelling work is still in their formative stages, but suffice to say that it's a very, very, very exciting time to be a part of the company, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

(also fun fact: Upworthy themselves have never, ever, ever used the click-bait-y headline suffix, "...you won't believe what happens next," despite the fact that that's the thing that everyone thinks about when they think about Upworthy and clickbait and whatnot) (also also, I'd argue that "clickbait" refers specifically to misleading links that are gravely lacking in content, whereas Upworthy has simply mastered the art of Vague But Intriguing Headlines That Compel You To Click and actually have good content on the other side to backup what they're saying) (also also also, this is genuinely me saying this, and not just the company line)

Finally, there was...I swear there was something else, something...cool, some good reason why I've been mostly MIA and why I'm still a week behind on the write-a-thon and —

OH! That's right. I got married. So, ya know. I guess that's kinda cool.

Photo credit: Bethany & Dan

Buy My Poetry In This Month's Issue of ASIMOV'S Science Fiction Magazine!

My time travel love poem "I Loved You More Last Time" is now available in the February 2015 issue of ASIMOV'S Science Fiction Magazine (along with a poem by my Clarion classmate and recent winner of Apex Magazine's Story Of The Year, Marie Vibbert). 

As far as I can tell, Asimov's is erm, not very good at making online purchases easy for anyone. But you can pick up the current issue or subscribe on Kindle, Nook, and iTunes Newsstand (unfortunately, I don't know the exact cut-off date for when the current issue ceases to be "current," and I can't figure out how buy specific back issues either). I'll also have a small stash of hard copies available for direct purchase (more info to come).

JRR Tolkien's Top 10 Tips For Writers

I feel like I'm supposed to make a snarky comment about Peter Jackson* in order to contextualize this, but the truth is, I haven't even seen The Desolation of Smaug or Battle of the Five Armies yet, because I found An Unexpected Journey to be little more than an overlong cut-scene from a corny Tolkien-themed Disney ride. But anyway, this is still fun!

*For the record, I was even skeptical when Jackson was first announced as the director of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, because he was one of my favorite go-to directors for my frequent Horrible & Horribly Offensive B-Movie nights back in high school. Don't get me wrong, Beautiful Dreamers and The Frighteners are both pretty fantastic — but Meet the Feebles? Dead-Alive? Bad Taste? Let's just say that he's better telling someone else's story than his own.

Although, he did give us this: