poetry

A small sampling of things I've written over the years that could arguably fall under the general blanket of "Poetry." Much of the poetry you see here was originally published on Five By Five Hundred, and you can also find my stuff in upcoming issues of Asimov's magazine. (please note: this isn't actually structured into any kind of order or anything)

Massachusetts License Plate [REDACTED]

This was originally published in Dig Boston's "Oh, Cruel World!" column

A-pedal left, a-pedal right, a-pedal side-by-side
down Massachusetts Avenue, headed swiftly Cambridge-side,
when by the corner of mine eye a creature did appear
who rode atop a dark blue steed and wreaked of hate and fear.

Though I held green, the beast turned right on red, so full of pride.
He cast no glance around him — I careened into his side!
“What are you, fucking retarded?” he spoke, “You dumb fuckin’ little shit!
I’ve got four fucking wheels, so get off the goddamn road you asshole!”

I turned to him in shock with piercing daggers in my eyes:
“Indeed, good sir, you broke the law — and neither did you rhyme!”
“Fuck you, you little cocksucker. I’ll hit you again if you don’t get out of my fucking way!”
I said I’d call the men of law to see what they had to say.

He disembarked his steed and lumbered forth in my direction,
“Go on you fucking prick, I fucking dare you. Go ahead, call the fucking cops. You’re the god damn retard here.”
“Forsooth, dear sir!” I doth protested, “for thou art in the wrong!”
“You shit-eating little pussy, go ahead. Here’s my fucking license plate.”

With that burst, he mounted back upon his armored steed
and drove away, leaving me to contemplate his deed.
I paused for breathe, considering the issue challenged me.
I grabbed my phone, called 911, and told them everything.

So I write to you, owner of blue jeep with a license plate of [REDACTED]:

Have fun paying off my college loans when I sue your ass for aggravated assault with a motor vehicle, dick.