Thom Dunn is a Boston-based writer, musician, and utterly terrible dancer. He is the singer/guitarist for the indie rock/power-pop the Roland High Life, as well as a staff writer for the New York Times’ Wirecutter and a regular contributor at BoingBoing.net. Thom enjoys Oxford commas, metaphysics, and romantic clichés (especially when they involve whiskey), and he firmly believes that Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" is the single greatest atrocity committed against mankind. He is a graduate of Clarion Writer's Workshop at UCSD ('13) & Emerson College ('08).
To celebrate the occasion of St. Padraig's Day (specifically the 73 people arrest at UMass Amherst's "Blarney Blowout" this past weekend), I've taken an old traditional Irish song and updated for the dudebro crowd. You're welcome.
New post on Five By Five Hundred about the secret history of that wretched poison that people actually pretend to like. Ugh.
Here's a little poem I wrote for my friends' wedding. I had the EMT-video game-heart metaphor early on (because it fits them), but it took me forever to actually nail the thing down. I tried so many different approaches, but I'm pretty happy with the final product (and more importantly, so were they!)
A quick, fun piece on Five By Five Hundred today, fleshing out a tweet I made the other day that I thought was particularly clever. That's all!
I had bigger plans for this that I might revisit when not under deadline (I got back from NYC around 2am last night so UGH), but I was thinking about the idea of "selling fear" and, well, just kind of went with it for this week's Five By Five Hundred post. So here it is!
Many people overlook the nuanced art of rock n roll, both within the songs*, and within the performance itself. Consider then: the set list. A good set list (or track listing**, for that matter) is a thing of beauty, complete with its own narrative arc of musical peaks and valleys that carry the audience through a complete cathartic hour-long rock n roll experience. But I realize that it's an art form that not many have mastered. And so this week on Five by Five Hundred, I've offered my assistance in a very public format. So you're welcome, Aspiring Rock Stars. Go forth, and make rock!
*Perhaps another day I shall blog at length about the importance of the narrative arc in song arrangements as well, in which case I'll be mostly using Weezer's Blue Album as a perfect example.
**Foo Fighters' "The Colours & the Shapes" has the best non-concept album track listing ever. I'll fight you on it.
Busy week here at Thom Dunn industries (when is it now?) so I've shared an older piece for this week's Five By Five Hundred post. This one's inspired by a really terrible episode of the 80s GI JOE cartoon, and a homeless guy named Joe who lives in New Haven. Joe walks around New Haven with a bucket and a mop, and he offers to clean the windows on your building or your car in exchange for food or money. He firmly believes in working for his pay, and refuses to beg for money or take handouts from strangers -- because, if his story is to be believed, Joe used to be a drug dealer and a rapist and was thrown off the top of the New Haven Coliseum in a turf war and somehow survived through the graciousness of some mysterious benefactor who paid his medical bills and now he feels that he has to spend the rest of his life making up for his past mistakes. Or at least that's what he says. So I wrote this little piece about him; obviously it's a comedy.
So, okay. Lena Dunham. That's all the Internet talks about anymore. And mostly for stupid reasons. GIRLS is an enjoyable show. Sure, it's got its flaws, but it always has some realistic depictions of a very particular group of people, all of whom I went to college with. But most of the debate around the show is -- in my humble opinion -- around all of the wrong issues (read: misogyny towards chubby exhibitionists). Let's face it, Lena Dunham is hardly the first privileged white kid to leverage Mom & Dad's wealth and success into her own career. I probably would have done the same thing, if I ever had the opportunity. And then there's Thought Catalog. I have plenty of friends who frequently for Thought Catalog, and almost every time I read something on that website (besides stuff by friends, obviously, because the whole point of this is that we're all hypocrites) I find myself consumed by anger towards the whiney narcissism of my generation. Every post is all trying to be deep and profound and whoa I made this brilliant realizations about being 22 now that I'm older and wiser at 24 and shut up.
Except that every time I read Thought Catalog, I'm like "Man, I totally get this. This is totally spot on." Which is probably why I'm so angry at it -- because it, like GIRLS, is totally cliched, and reminds us all of how cliched we are ourselves.
So, long story longer, this week's Five By Five Hundred post is all about that, except in some wacky stream-of-consciousness kind of a way (I mean, more than what I just wrote) because I have weird brain things.
(Also it now holds the record for our most popular post on 5x500! So, ya know, that's cool)
Okay, so clearly I've been working on lots of larger writing pieces, which has gotten in the way of my standard Five By Five Hundred writing. But hey, writing is writing, so here's another short excerpt from a piece I've been working, only this one is the very end of the story. So, ya know. Spoilers, sweetie.
Here's a little excerpt from a story I've been working on in a few different mediums (I've shared a few other snippets, too, if you'd like to piece them together and figure it out...). It's science-y and physics-y and all timey-wimey, but hopefully it's at least a little bit enjoyable on its own!
I have a new superhero identity. I'm not really sure what my powers are, or if they'd be any use in a fight, but that doesn't matter. I've now experienced the quintessential Spider-Man-esque (RIP) traumatic formative moment, and there is no turning back.
Today on Five By Five Hundred, I reveal my deep secret, the true origin story of my new superheroic identity: Regular Wednesday Comic Book Buyer Guy. A true hero for the modern age.
Read ahead, if you can handle it.
Here's a little excerpt from a larger piece of fiction I've been working on, posted over at Five By Five Hundred. It's completely out of context, but that's okay; I think it works alright on it's own.
(that's "Happy New Years" in Irish, 'natch)
It's a busy end to the Holiday Season, with back-to-back-to-back celebrations, but here's a quick update on some things. First, a little New Years poem I wrote over at Five By Five Hundred about 2012's significant lack of jetpacks. I also wrote a little blog / essay about my brain as a writer entitled "Less Talk, More Rock" for the Boston One Minute Play Festival, which is this coming weekend, January 5-7, at Boston Playwrights Theatre, and features two short plays that I wrote. I have very specifically avoided rehearsals, so I'm excited to see what's going to come out of the little bits of text I wrote. If you're interested but unavailable to make it to the show, the 8pm performance on Sunday, January 6 will be streamed live on HowlRound's NewPlay TV, so you can watch the whole thing from the comfort of your laptop.
That's all for now; see you in The Future!
I figure must people are busy spending time with their families (as they should be!), so here's a quick update for you to enjoy while you're in the bathroom or waiting for family to arrive or whatever. First, over on Five By Five Hundred, I whipped up a brief little parody piece after one of my own family's favorite traditions that I think everyone can enjoy -- "'Twas The Night Before Christmas Break."
And then there's this:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDheBMWy7Ic]
You're welcome. Merry Christmas! (and equivalent non-Christian holiday greetings, of course)
Just a quick update -- it's been a rather intense weekend for everyone. But here's my newest post on Five By Five Hundred, a quick little wordplay piece of prose that attempts to go too far on the idea of "molesting a metaphor" (based on a recent LitReactor.com article on how NOT to use a metaphor). I don't know, it just sounded fun. Enjoy!
Today on Five By Five Hundred, I decided to kick off our celebration and excitement for the upcoming holiday season. No, not Christmas; I mean the end of the world! With only 12 days left until the supposed Mayan Apocalypse / World Shift / New Age / Another Boring Saturday Where Nothing Significant Actually Happens Or Changes, I decided to tweak one of your perennial holiday favorites and update it for the times. Enjoy!
ALSO! In case you don't already follow the rest of the daily exploits on 5x500 without me telling you (for some bizarre reason I don't know why you wouldn't), we are currently taking submissions for a new weekly contributor to join us on Sundays! Follow link to learn all about the necessary submission information in handy haiku form. All we ask is that you post a new something every Sunday in keeping with the theme of the website. "What's the theme of the website?" you ask, like some fool who hasn't even been paying attention. "Glad you asked!" I respond through gritted teeth. I pause for a moment as I hiss in my breath and explain that the only criteria is that must write something and that it must be under 500 words. Poetry, prose, scripts, rants, memoirs, serial fiction, serial murders -- whatever, it doesn't matter, just as long as it's under 500 words. Simple enough, right?
If you think you have what it takes, check out our submission guidelines. We look forward to hearing from you!
I think when most people meet me for the first time, they get a pretty good read at who I am, and nearly all of them leave this first encounter with an awareness of most, if not all, of these essential Thom Dunn truths:
Most of these facts require very little explanation, but it's the last one that does occasionally lead to controversy.
I've decided that it's time for me to set the record straight once and for all, and explain myself to the Internets.
But keep in mind that the truth can sometimes be a bitter pill to swallow. I think I might be mixing metaphors there, but I don't care. You have been warned.
Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. Today on Five By Five Hundred, I've posted a little preview of a larger prose serial I'm working on. So it's cryptic, sure, as part of a much larger whole, but I think it stands decently on its own. Enjoy!
First of all, thanks to everyone who came to our Alejandro & the Fame show this past Saturday. We completely sold out the venue, which is always a cool feeling*, plus Shaymus Moynihan and the gang at the Midway treated us with some truly fantastic hospitality while we were there. (Read: free drinks) Anyway, point is: it's Monday, and after a hard day of writing, I've got a new piece up at Five By Five Hundred about time. We could all use more free time, yeah? And yet, somehow, no one blames the government. Maybe they're taking all of our free time, hrmmm? Even though it's supposed to be free?
Yes, I know, that sounds ridiculous. But it made for a fun little flash fiction sketch.
*Although, at the same time, it was kind of depressing, because apparently people come out in droves to see 5 guys shredding their way through Lady Gaga songs, but no one cares about original music. But I digress.
Because everyone's obviously feeling inundated and overwhelmed with all of the political commentary consuming the Internet, I decided this week to give everyone a break, and write something quick and simple about love and romance for Five By Five Hundred instead. Just kidding. It's a metaphor, fool.